Dealing With Disdain

“When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.”   Genesis 37:4
 

Everyone has one—a person in life who is hard to love and easy to loathe.  For ten of Jacob’s sons, that not-so-special somebody was their baby brother, Joseph.  Born to Rachel when Jacob was nearly ninety, Joseph was boldly and brazenly heralded as father’s favorite.   Being “Papa’s Pet” wasn’t his fault, but Joseph did himself no favors by tattling on his brothers’ bad deeds and telling them about his big dreams.  None of this set well with his siblings and neither did the beautiful robe presented only to Joseph.  

“When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him”(Gen. 37:4).  Given Jacob’s lopsided love and Joseph’s loose lips, the brothers’ jealousy can be understood, but their actions can never be justified.

One day Jacob sent Joseph to check on the family and the flock.  As soon as his brothers saw him coming, they began scheming.  A suggested murder plot was lessened to simple terror and misery, so they grabbed Joseph, jerked off his special coat, and shoved him down a dry well.  Then they sat down to munch their lunch.

In the distance a trading caravan was making its way through the desert.  “Since we won’t get anything for killing him, let’s sell him,” one suggested, so they pulled Joseph from the pit and began bartering.  He pleaded for his life, but they closed their ears, pocketed the pay, and walked away—slightly richer but so much poorer.  To cover their crime, they slaughtered a goat, spread its blood on Joseph’s coat, and said to Dad, “Look what we found.  Check and see if it belongs to you-know-who.” 

Joseph was gone.  Jacob was grieved.  The brothers were guilty.  And for many years, all suffered severely because of the sin.

Be careful.  Dislike quickly becomes disdain and soon you will despise.  While you can’t control the actions of others, you do choose your own attitudes.  If you let your feelings determine your follow-through, everyone involved will end up in a painful pit from which escape is never easy. 

So if you can’t stand someone, don’t knock them over.  Kneel down.

God will help you handle your hate before all get hurt.

Up For The Count

“So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.”  Genesis 32:24
 

When I was growing up, no true fan missed Friday nights at the farm center.  At that venue, each week without fail, for just the price of a ticket, the wonders of the wrestling world were right before your very eyes.  Who would skip the chance to see the Masked Madman duel the Green Zinger?   Fierce would be the battle, full of throws, kicks, punches, and pins.  The floor would rumble, the ropes would shudder, and heaven help the referee.

But no cheering crowd was ringside the night Jacob wrestled with God.  Headed home after a twenty year absence, Jacob was understandably anxious and apprehensive.  He sent his spouses, his sons, and his stuff across the river but stayed alone on the other side.  But not for long.  “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak”(Gen. 32:24).  

God’s wonders capture the attention of many.  Others respond to His gentle whisper.  But this one required hand to hand combat, and so they wrestled.  Jacob was strong and scrappy.  God was great and graceful.  The fight wasn’t fair, but conquest wasn’t the God’s objective.  His goal was change, so He let Jacob grapple and brawl—all night long.

The bell rang as the sun rose.  Jacob wouldn’t let God go until He blessed him, and God didn’t let Jacob go until He broke him.  The knock-out punch was framed as a question. “What’s your name?” God asked (Gen. 32:27).  And in a word, Jacob admitted he had become the deceiver his name described.  So God gave him a new one—Israel. “Because you have struggled with men and with God and have overcome”(Gen. 32:28).   

Jacob’s success came from his surrender.  When he finally faced who he was—and who God is—he was never the same.  A lifelong limp was his sacred souvenir, but better a wrenched hip than a wrong heart.

Jacob never defended his title because he didn’t need to.

For though the match was fixed, the victory wasn’t fake.

“We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”  Romans 8:37

This Time

“This time I will praise the Lord.”    Genesis 29:35

 

Unloved and unlovely, Leah quickly found herself the third wheel of a bicycle built for two.  Her husband, Jacob, granted her his body but never gave her his heart.  She wanted him to be with her out of desire not duty, but the prospects of such seemed slim.  

And then she got pregnant--and had a baby boy.  A firstborn son was a sign of Jacob’s potency and a source for Jacob’s pride.  “Surely my husband will love me now,” Leah declared.  But he didn’t.

And then she got pregnant--and had a baby boy.  A second son showed that the first was not a fluke.  Jacob was a real man and this child was real proof.  Surely he would love her now.  But he didn’t.

And then she got pregnant--and had a baby boy.  By this time Leah had given up on love but she still longed to be liked.  To be connected in some way—any way.  “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.”  But he didn’t.

And then she got pregnant--and had a baby boy.  But this time, “This time,” she said, “I will praise the Lord.”  Leah realized that when Jacob wasn’t looking at her, God was.  When Jacob wasn’t listening to her, God was.  When Jacob wasn’t loving her, God was.  God was the one who filled her empty arms and helped her lonely heart, so she shifted her focus from the one who wasn’t around to the One who was always there.

Stop striving to find your self-worth in the accolades and affections of others.

They will let you down, but God will always hold you up. 

This time, praise the Lord.

Back Atcha

“When morning came, there was Leah!”  Genesis 29:25

 

Jacob’s wait was almost over. The cake had been cut, the guests greeted, the feast finished, and it was time to hit the tent for the honeymoon!  But as the groggy groom awoke the morning after, the wife snuggled by his side was not his ravishing Rachel but her not-so-lovely sister Leah.  “When evening came Laban took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob slept with her”(Gen. 29:24).

Jacob had met his match.  The master of deception had been duped.  Jacob’s dad and brother had been his victims of his schemes, but this victory belonged to his father-in-law.  Laban’s reason for the mix-up was rather lame.  “Ah, well, we generally don’t marry off younger sister first, so have a fun week with Leah.  Then, for seven more years of free work, you can have Rachel too.”

The sister-swap was ruthless and wrong.  It was unjustified and indefensible, but it was deserved.  Craftiness catches up with you.  Sooner or later, you’ll be trapped in your trickery and stuck in your sham.  As the saying goes, we can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time.  And never God any of the time. “Do not be deceived:  God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows.” (Galatians 6:7).  

Through the grace of the blood-stained cross, salvation removes our sins forever, but the earthly consequences don’t disappear and they can be devastating. We harm ourselves and others when we lie, deceive, and try to dupe.  

What goes around comes around—and it hurts when it hits. 

Live a life of truth.

Romantic Non-Fiction

“But they seemed like only a few days to him.”   Genesis 29:20

Harlequin should have been in Haran as Jacob found a home and lost his heart.  Her name was Rachel, and she was his first love as well as his first cousin.  (Being close kin was no concern back then.)  She was striking and he was smitten.  Big time.

The whole thing started at a well—must have been a wishing one.  Jacob arrived in the area as Rachel showed up with the sheep.  He watered the flock, kissed the girl, cried out loud, and revealed that he was related.  She rushed away with the info, and Jacob was welcomed into the family.

After just four weeks, Uncle Laban offered wages for his work, but Jacob was more interested in marriage than money.  “Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, ‘I’ll work for you for seven years in return for your younger daughter’” (Gen 29:18-19). “Better you than some other boy,” her dad declared.  “It’s a deal.”

Thus ensues the most romantic statement in all of Scripture. “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days because of his love for her”(Gen. 29:20).  Yes, the tale takes a twist and tying the knot turns into a tangle, but that’s tomorrow.  Today, pause and celebrate the passion of a captivated heart.

Seven years make up more than 2500 days.  That’s not a few, but “they seemed like only a few” for the prize was worth the price.  Jacob’s love made the long seem short, the hard easy, and the demanding delightful.  Ladies think, “He must have been so sweet.”  Guys think, “She must have been so hot.”  Both were true and are strong reminders that love brings out the best in us and the beauty in others. 

True love willing to sacrifice and wanting to serve is better than anything you can buy in a book, so don’t look on the shelf.  Look at your spouse.

Rachel was worth the work.

So is yours.

Stairway To Heaven

“He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on earth, with its top reaching to heaven.” Genesis 28:12

Although we’re not Jewish, a few in my family must be kin to Jacob.  Blessed with the ability to sleep anywhere at any time, they can rest in the rowdiest or roughest of circumstances.  I’m not saying I’m jealous, but the certainty of a good night’s sleep, no matter the conditions, would be rather reassuring.

Noise pollution wasn’t Jacob’s problem in the middle of the wilderness, but his accommodations that evening weren’t exactly cozy.  On the run from his brother’s rage, he stopped at sundown to sleep.  He had forgotten to pack a pillow, so “taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down”(Gen 28:11).  This should be no surprise when we realize how hard-headed Jacob was, but it couldn’t have been comfortable!   However, no insomnia inflicted Jacob, and he soon dozed off and started dreaming.

He saw a stairway connecting heaven and earth with angels going up and down, and “there beside him stood the Lord”(Gen 28:13).  Jacob might have been in the desert doing his own thing, but God had an Almighty agenda for this deceiver.  In grace, God promised to give him the land on which he was lying, to go with him as he wandered, and to bring him home again.

Jacob awoke with a sacred scare.  “How awesome is this place!” he exclaimed.  “This is none other than the house of God”(Gen 28:17).  His stone pillow became a pillar—a place of connection and covenant with God, and Jacob vowed to worship.

Jacob’s ladder wasn’t so he could climb up.

Jacob’s ladder was how God came down—to comfort, to promise, and to bless.

What a good night’s sleep!

Double Trouble

“Isaac…loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”    Genesis 25:28

The Battle of the Boys began as babies.  The twins wrestled in the womb and wrangled during birth as Jacob emerged grasping his brother’s heel in an effort to slingshot his way to the front.  But Esau arrived as the firstborn, a position which carried great privilege—Dad’s big blessing for life and double bounty at his death.

As the boys became men, the match continued with the parents picking sides.  Connected by their passion for the outdoors, Papa Isaac preferred the rowdy Esau.  Mom Rebekah was biased to baby Jacob.  Quiet and kind, he hung around the house, helping with the domestic duties. “Isaac…loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”  And trouble was brewing.

It showed up first in a soup cauldron.  Esau, starving after a futile hunting trip, swapped his birthright for a bowl of Jacob’s stew.  In a moment of weakness, he gobbled the lentils and gave away his legacy.

The problems reappeared on a platter. Isaac, old and blind, wished to bless his eldest before he was buried, so he rang for Esau and requested a wild game dinner for the occasion.  Rebekah overheard the opportunity and wanted the best for her beloved.  While Esau stalked, Jacob schemed.  Dressed in his brother’s clothes for scent with his hands and neck covered in goat hair for feel, Jacob served his dad a deceitful dinner and stole the special blessing. Enraged at the ruse, Esau made plans to murder his brother after he mourned for his father.  Homebody Jacob had to run for his life and didn’t return for twenty years.  And nobody won the war.

In our families, favoritism and fraud fare no one well because deceit never wins the day and neither does a double-standard.  Our love can be expressed differently but should be shared equally.

Always be fair and never be false.  Your home shouldn’t be a combat zone.