Good Grief, It's Christmas.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly. ‘Tis the season to be jolly. But what if you’re not? What if life’s circumstances have left you more mournful than merry? Then what do you do?

This question hit me hard yesterday at 65 miles per hour. Late to meet a friend for lunch, I was zipping north on the four-lane when I saw an older gentleman walking slowly toward his truck, wiping his eyes with a white handkerchief. I knew where he had been—the memorial by the side of the road. At that spot, only a few years ago, a courageous law enforcement officer was brutally murdered. With one unfounded, fatal shot, a wife lost her husband, kids lost their dad, parents lost a son, friends lost a pal, and our town lost a hero. Homes, hearts, holidays, and everydays would never be the same.

So how do you have Christmas when your heart is breaking? How do you trim the tree, string the lights, and smile at parties when all you want to do is sob? When divorce, death, abuse, family issues, health problems, or host of other troubles and tragedies have you down, how do you “get up” for the big event? And should you?

I’m not giving the selfish or the sour an excuse for being a Scrooge, but if you’re truly hurting, don’t fake it; faith it. That’s not meant to be a cute, trite saying. It’s serious truth. Our cultural traditions and decorations which can be so delightful at times but very difficult at others, are not Biblical requirements. The first Christmas brought only two divine necessities for celebration. One was explicit—“Don’t be afraid. This is good news of great joy,” and the other was implied, “Come and see. Here’s how to tell you’re in the right place—the baby will be in a barn.”

This season, if you’re struggling with a heavy heart, if you’re dealing with loss, if the empty place at the table or the missing face in the picture still brings pain, stay simple and go with God’s advice. “Don’t be afraid.” His perfect love calms your fears(1 Jn 4:18), His presence will never leave you alone(Heb 13:5), and by His purpose, He works for your good even in the bad(Rom 8:28). So, “Come and see.” Don’t try to be something you’re not. God knows what you’re really feeling, and He’s just glad you came. And keep your eyes open in unlikely locations—God often shows up where you least expect Him. The Christ of Christmas was “a man of sorrows and well-acquainted with grief”(Isa. 53:3). He does more than see your tears; He shares them.

At its very heart, Christmas isn’t about being jolly; it’s about joy—the “can’t quite be described, deep in your soul” peace that only comes because Jesus came. When the tears start to fall and the days seem dark, don’t try to dry your eyes; let God hold your tight and be your light.

“Because of the tender mercy of our God, the Sunrise from on High will come to us from heaven, to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.” Luke 1:78-79