The Sex Talk

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral."  Hebrews 13:4

Since the guy who wrote Hebrews didn’t shy away from the sex talk, neither will we, so here goes. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral”(Heb. 13:4).

All of us should value and respect marriage. Why? First, because society starts to unravel when marriages fall apart. The covenant connection of one man and one woman sticking together and staying together “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, keeping their hands and hearts off any others, as long as they both shall live” is the basic building block of a strong and stable culture. This is not meant as a statement of judgment on those who are divorced, for, sadly, sometimes such action is necessary, but those who have felt the pain of a split know that the end of a dream brings tears and not cheers.

Second, and more importantly, marriage is meant to model God’s perfect, pure, and pleasurable connection with His church—His people made His own by the covenant of Christ’s sacrifice. We shouldn’t blur the picture by being impure. “The marriage bed [should be] kept pure,” is a direct but difficult demand, and we have millenniums of messes to prove that hormones and hearts are hard to control. Kingdoms (political, commercial, and religious) have crumbled, and rulers (presidents, principals, and preachers) have tumbled because of adultery.

God’s not trying to spoil our fun; in fact He’s trying to facilitate it. Sex is His grand—and very good—idea. Since He created the game, He gets to set the rules, and when we step out of bounds, we pay the penalty. “God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral”(Heb. 13:4). Yes, because Christ’s blood covers our sin, God forgives our failures, but the current consequences of our choices are not removed. Trust is shattered. Hearts are broken. Relationships often crash on the rocks, and we hurt not only others but also ourselves. “All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body”(1 Cor. 6:18). We’re not given details of what this means because it’s hard to explain except by experience. If you don’t get it, good. And if you’ve been there, don’t go there again. “Other than your spouse” sex leaves you with pain, problems, and a past you would like to get past. God’s grace renews us and help us rebuild, but the process is tough and takes time.

Before some get prideful, remember that purity is more than what you do; it’s also what you desire. Jesus clearly stated that an affair can be in attitude as well as actions, and when a look turns to lust, you’ve crossed the line. Dangerous desires, physically or emotionally, with a lover or online, are devastating, destructive, and disobedient.

No matter the state of your relationship (single, dating, engaged, married, or divorced) treat marriage—and the God of marriage—as something precious by being pure.

If you’re not married to somebody, don’t sleep with anybody.
And if vows have been said, stay in bed with the one you wed.